Partly due to last week’s bonus crisis of complete global collapse and partly due to Miss Stella’s overwhelming knowledge of Star Wars canon, this week we decided to break from tradition and spring a completely stand alone bonus Jedi crisis! We needed a win and there is little that will get these kids motivated like battling the dark force. If I’m honest, I spent quite a bit of time on various Star Wars wikis, as well as culling my mind for as much Jedi vocabulary as I could possibly remember in order to come up with this thing. Luckily, there were so many moving parts the kids didn’t even question my preference for slapstick comedy as opposed to fantasy worlds. Here is the crisis in full to give you an idea of what these kids are dealing with each day:
May the Fourth Crisis
This morning, May the Fourth, 2017, the leader of the Jokee Hopi tribe was presented with a smuggled holographic message from Kylo Ren, stating his intent to betray the First Order and lead a new Resistance against his master, Supreme Leader Snoke. He has asked all Resistance Jedi to come out of hiding in order to win a decisive victory, though many outside of Jokee Hopi, especially ever powerful North McKalcia, do not trust the message to be sincere. They are worried that Ren is just trying to expose all exiled Jedi, especially his former mentor, Luke Skywalker, in order to crush them once and for all. Luckily, Lochland has spies embedded in the First Order and can use them to get information on Ren’s true intentions. However, they need satellite technology from South McKalcia to help them code the messages, as well as Nin Tribe smugglers to get the messages back and forth. Geleteerstan, for their part, know how to contact Jedi leaders hidden around the world, so they alone hold the key to their whereabouts.
- The Nin are worried that their best smugglers will be killed in this dangerous mission.
- South McKalcia does not want to share spy technology with other world leaders.
- Lochland does not want to potentially expose their spies for such an unrealistic dream like the Jedi Resistance.
- Geleteerstan is hesitant to disclose the secret hiding places of Jedi around the land.
**YOU MAY NOT BUY YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE – NO MONEY MAY BE USED TO SOLVE THIS CRISIS**
With a little added incentive of $10 million bonus for each team if it was solved in one game day, we were off to the races! It quickly dawned on the players that the best way to solve this crisis was to conquer it in pieces. (‘Oh I get it now. It’s like a puzzle.’) They would get one country to agree, then the next, then back to the original to confirm, then to the next and so on. I’m proud to say I held my tongue as this is basically the solution to every problem in the game, and I’m hopeful if they recognized it in this crisis, it would eventually connect. It took nearly the entire time, and maybe the five minute warning just put that extra bit of fire under them, but with about one minute to spare, I was greeted with puffed chests and waving hands, and ultimately a signed treaty that I had no choice but to accept. I notified our World Banker to add an extra $10 million to each country! The muffled applause that followed indicated a quiet confidence that only comes with knowing the inevitable.
Speaking of that World Banker, with all the excitement surrounding the new crisis, she and the Arms Dealer could have easily faded into the background with the knowledge that they were marginalized in a crisis devoid of transactions. Instead, I ‘caught’ them feverishly discussing a variety of other crises yet to be solved in the overall game. They were working on proposals for key players involved in each, and planned to present these tomorrow when we resume the full game. These are the moments that make this game what it is. These kids refused to take a break and instead capitalized on a moment of calm, one with no arguments and no emotions to muddy the waters. They sat alone and worked on problems of which they were not directly involved. They recognized the need for fresh eyes and logical thinking, and they put in the work. These two were my players of the day.
So as always, let’s end this May the Fourth with a couple out of context quotes. Live long and prosper, everyone. Wait…
‘I’m working with the Arms Dealer to solve other crises while everyone is focused on the Star Wars one so we figure we can try to get other ones done while they’re distracted.’
‘Our whole country was falling apart last week. It was a bad day.’
‘But if we hand them our spy technology they’ll have all the information we’ve gotten.’
‘Well look, if they give us their spy equipment, we’ll use our spies.’
‘Oh man, I’m finally starting to get this…’